Damn You Job Search!

If you have ever read my blog before you know this bad ASS house wife doesn't really want to be a housewife at all. I want a job. I am from a family where the women are like warriors. We are the ones who do it all. We can keep a house, cook a hell of a meal, work full time, and give you the best sex you have ever had. (I mean I'm the best I've ever had). So for me not to be working and making an income is very difficult for me. It just doesn't mix well with my DNA.

On Monday I got a wonderful break in the job hunt. This nice lady calls and tells me she just received my resume and she MUST meet with me immediately. We scheduled an interview for the next morning. I was beyond thrilled and celebrated the rest of the day by drinking!

I know what you are thinking. You think this story is going to be about how I got super drunk, passed out, and either missed the interview or made a fool out of myself. YOU ARE WRONG MY FRIEND. I must have left out the part about how I can also hold my alcohol.

Lately because of my "lack of a job" I have been enjoying sleeping in. So before I went to bed I set three different alarms (I REALLY WANT A JOB). I woke up, curled my hair, dressed up like a respectable business woman, and showed up to my interview fifteen minutes early like I should. This had to have been the best interview I've ever had. I was shooting perfect responses like a rat in the interrogation room. At one point I was sure this lady was going to lean across the table and start kissing me she liked me so much. I left the interview and was absolutely on cloud nine. She told me they planned to make a decision the following day and they would call everyone to let them know.

TWO hours later I wake up from a nap. I told you I'm used to sleeping in. I check my email and I have an email from the lady who interviewed me. I wish I could remember her name so I could include it in this rant! The email starts by thanking me for my time then goes on to tell me they chose a more qualified candidate for the position. I think you all need a little more background information:

1. I have worked in a bank for the past two years.
2. I have handled millions in cash.
3. My resume is beautiful.
4. I have 3 years of sales experience.
5. The position that I was turned down for was a retail position where I would probably spend most of my time working a cash register and folding sweaters.

In other words, the fact that they tell me there is someone out there who is more qualified makes me want to slit my wrist and end it all now. Unless there is someone out there who won a sweater folding contest I just don't believe that lady!

I think it's time to go back to college!